The world of columnists

20.2.13

The world would be such a duller place without our columnists. We are blessed with two such. Both ladies, both initialed SD. If your upbringing has been anywhere near Goa, it is usual to grow up with quite a few D's around you: D'Souza, D'Cruz, DaCunha etc. We also have international gems like De Beers, D'Adamas etc. The D in all these is the equivalent of kar in Tendulkar, Vengsarkar, Gavaskar etc. or wala as in Batliwala, Tadiwala and son on and so forth.

Let us move on to SD Sr. first. She has no pretenses of activism. Her credo is simple : Entertainment, Entertainment, Entertainment. The writings can be quite risque and can often pass on as entry level porn. Lets call her Scuba De. De what? De nothing. De by itself. Scuba De has torpedoed many a guy and gal in her columns. Sometimes she herself gets torpedoed when she passes by someone like Sonam Kapoor. But such instances are rarer than meteorites falling over the Urals. Scuba De is also blessed with a face that is photogenic on par with Madhubala and our own Chitrangadha. The kind of face that looks glam even without lipstick.

SD Jr is quite a different cuppa. Let us come to the D' part first. We must give every phenomenon a name first. Like in most sarkari kagaz, we will start with the surname first. How about D'LOL? LOL happens to be a favourite snub, expression of delight, accessory, embellishment, pause for thought, whatever. I keep wondering whether suchnsuch D'LOL has a special key on the keayboard for this LOL thing. Something like Enter button with right click! I tell you, it can be more common than ", "and ". "if you follow this phenomenon. This lady is not about Entertainment. She is into much more serious stuff. Active activism, social justice etc. There are two types of citizens in her lexicon.Either you are an activist or else you are a shampoo salesman. Such radical stuff, I tell you. She is also a champion of democracy and democratic values. Her fora are very democratic. You are entitled to your opinions as long as it tallies with hers. If you are undemocratic enough to differ, you run the risk of being bounced. With a terse reminder in no uncertain terms that "Right To Admission is Reserved" You know, like in one of those classy restaurants or clubs you gawk from far? The current flavour of the season is Padmashree v/s Saharashree. This demon slayer is to be found wherever demons are slayed. Be it Jeejeebhoy Towers, SEBI or even as far as NY. I estimate her market share in demon slaying is 94%+

Why am I writing this and running the risk of earning wrath? Maybe I should stick to the safe anonymity of nomme de plume to vent out my plumonia. If I carry on like this, even the nomme de plume very soon will turn into nomme the guerre. So, let me sign off!